Dragons, Scorpions, Crocodiles, Phoenixes, Water, and Vapour

For a while, I've considered myself a Dragon of sorts. As if I have a soul that's been around for a while.

For even longer I've considered myself a water type, though at times I've been a pot of boiling water.

I suppose that my view of my self has changed with where my life has taken me, but as I sit here with this Djarum slowly burning between my fingertips,watching the smoke slowly curl towards the night sky, I have to wonder: have I evolved as a person? What am I taking away from my everyday experiences and the people that I meet?

Since early November of last year, I've been swamped with things to do. 

I'm a full-time student.

I worked over 40 hours most weeks.

I've neglected my body and mind.

I've missed countless hours of sleep.

I've missed countless meals. 

I've lost contact with so many people.

Relationships with others have grown and weakened. 

All since my birthday last year.

At this point, it seems that I have become steam.

This is the first cool night in a while, and I think it's allowing my thoughts to flow. I really do appreciate this breeze across my uncovered skin. Too bad the law requires me to wear some sort of covering in public... I feel refreshed.

As I sat pondering this whole "steam" thing, I remembered what I was doing before I stepped outside. I was knee-deep in Facebook and Twitter and the games I had downloaded onto my phone. My thumbs and mind hadn't stopped moving. 

My mind ran straight to a post a friend (yes, I consider her a friend at this point even though we hardly ever spoke until recently) had put up.

"I want to be madly in love with myself"

The first thing that came to mind was "you already are"

"oh yeah?"

"Yeah. All you have to do is believe it."

I left it at that. There was more that came to mind before the conversation was hijacked, so I let it sit in my mind to be refined.

You have everything you want. All you have to do is believe that it is there. When you wake up and you find it missing, you will automatically take steps to correct it. 

It kinda leans back to my posts from the end of last summer. You know, back when I was actively selling Cutco.

Live life like water. It always adapts to every situation you put it into. Which reminds me of another post from the previously mentioned friend that included the idea of relationships and why some people just don't seem to need a romantic, sexual, intimate, etc., one and others seem to die without one. Judging by how long I've been single, I feel like I fit into both of those categories simultaneously. Yeah, that's right. I'm riding the fence on this one. In fact, I'm considering just building a home right here on the border. If you know me, this shouldn't surprise you at all. 

At this point, go back through here and replace every "steam" with "vapour."

So, once you mix heat (pressure) with water, you get vapour after some time. vapour mixes, separates, gathers, diffuses, all that good stuff. you know how it acts. Kind of like how I've been behaving these few months. Doing what I have to do while still finding some time for enjoyment. Ebbing in and out of people's lives without much warning. 

Now for some research. Remember the water/dragon reference from the beginning? A few weeks ago, I was curious as to what my Mayan zodiac sign is. After cross-referencing several sites, I found out that I'm a crocodile. You know, an underwater dragon. Nice, huh? 

Let's recap all the signs that have lead me this year so far:

2012 is the year of the dragon. The same sign I was born under except this year is the water dragon.

I'm a Scorpio, which is a water sign and can be interpreted as the phoenix which, again leans towards rebirth.

As far as the Mayans are concerned, I'm a crocodile. Nurturing (massage therapist) and protective.

Factor these all in with the water-type Squirtle and you get a nice fluid individual. Vapour.

You can take this as a coarse rationalizing of a fantasy that has taken over me or as me describing myself, but as the description hints, this is the logging of findings that I happen upon on my journey through life and self-discovery. I suppose I'll branch out on the finer points of this article at a later point. For now, my extra-long fingers are getting tired of typing on this tiny netbook keyboard. 

Here's to hoping we learn more about ourselves and each other every time we are granted an opportunity to do so. 

Peace.